Hello again

It has been months since my last post. And all I can say is that I am sorry.

Life happened, a few anxiety spells and way more doctors’ visits that we care to remember.

So here is the low down on our life during lockdown.

Joy turned 2yo in October. She had 5 ear infections in 2020. Below-barely making sense when she spoke. Had an appointment with the ENT and bottom line was Joy had 25% hearing loss and could only hear 50% what we were saying.

For about a year we had a little girl with very bad hearing, and we thought how she was, was normal.

Oh Contrare…

She got grommets and her adenoids was removed. This all was the cause for the “not speaking properly” yet.

We went to a speech therapist and it was determined that Joy is a year to a year and a half behind on play and speech. This was a terrible shock for us.

Most parents will think, “oh my child is naughty…” most possibly there is a problem that needs to be addressed.

I instantly felt like a failure and that we could have done so much more if we only knew. But how could we have known?! The hearing test was normal before all this. You start questioning yourself as a parent and feel like that this is your fault.

But it was just due to circumstances.

Being in daycare for 3 months, lockdown for 4 months, going back to school, falling ill, at home for a week and a half, back to school, falling ill etc.

And as soon as she would pick up a word, an ear infection would start and she would de-learn the word. Then the op happened and currently speech therapy. Her routine was just so upside down, and very limited contact with friends!

The worst part for me was when we would go to play areas and I would hear how other 2 year olds would talk… It broke my heart.

One can’t help but wonder why her? Why us? Why do other parents have it so easy!

The pressure of having to catch up a year and a half of your child’s life is awful. It feels as though we have wasted a whole year. And that year was pure coping skills… Anything not to breakdown.

After 2 weeks of depression and anxiety building up, breaking out in hives and a lot of crying, I finally stopped trying to cope and just started to take small steps everyday and do things to build up my mental capacity.

Also celebrating the small things, like new words and Joy’s climbing abilities!

When you realised you need to stop coping and start living, you cry. And believe me you cry a lot! And I promise you, you will feel better. Don’t bottle up. I know it’s super hard and we want to seem as though life can’t get us down and we can cope with anything life throws.

We want to look like Super mom!

But guess what, knowing how and when to take care of yourself is just as important, even more so, cause your little ones depend on their Super mom.

My Super mom helped me realised this and I have been fortunate enough to have her by side my whole life.

So don’t be scare to lean on other Super moms for support, we all need it sooner or later in our lives as moms.